Longing
by Kakkabrat
Summary: Sesshoumaru decides to do what he feels is best for Rin. SessRin and some InuKag and MirSan
1. Contemplations

Too long had this girl stayed with him.

She had become distanced from her kind, and now preferred the company of demon's to the company of humans.

Sesshoumaru knew these things, and he knew what he had to do.

He would leave her.

Arrangements had already been made by himself and the miko his half brother had settled down with.

He would leave Rin in their care, and he would not return.

For nearly six years she had been with him. In that time she had gone from being a overly hyper child, to an overly hyper young woman. The girl was now fifteen years of age, she was now old enough to wed, and bear children of her own. Human children, with a human father.

She knew not of his decision, not yet. He was going to tell her once it was time for his departure, as then he would not be able to change his mind.

This was not something the lord wanted. In the years that human girl had been with him, he had become so accustomed to her company. To her constant chatter , to her laugh, even to her affection. Sesshoumaru had no desire for any of that to end.

Yet, he knew that what he was going to do was right.

Rin needed to be with her own kind, it was only natural. Even if she would become upset with him when he told her of what would happen, it would only serve to benefit her in the end. Sesshoumaru knew this to be true, had he not, he would not be doing this.

As disgusting as it had once seemed, Sesshoumaru had found himself having gotten feelings for his human girl. She had somehow managed to make herself the very center of his universe, and in doing so, caused her own departure from him.

How could he expect her to stay with him, to live out her life with him, if she had never even had the chance to say no? To know what it would be like to lead a normal human life?

He would not deprive her of that, he refused.

After all, he had deprived her of nothing unless circumstances were completely unforgiving. One the hanyou Naraku had been taken care of, Sesshoumaru had taken Rin to live with him in his castle. She had her own room, was served nutritious meals three times a day, gives many kimono's to wear, and whatever else she had wanted was hers.

This was just one more thing he needed to give her.

"My Lord? You have yet to touch your tea, and I fear it grows cold."

Since having stayed in his castle with Rin, he had become accustomed to drinking small amounts of tea while she ate, it had given him an excuse to spend more time with her without making it seem very deliberate.

"It matters not, it tastes no different cold."

He was not yet sure of just when he would take her, but he knew that it had to been soon. The longer he delayed it the less likely he was to do it.

"Rin, I want you to pack some of your things, we will be going on a short journey soon."

The girl's eyes seemed to light up. "Where to my Lord?"

"Inuyasha's village." He needed a reason for their going there, any reason at all. One that would hide the true reason for them to journey there. "His mate has bore him a son, and I intend to have a look at him."

It was somewhat truthful. His halfling brother's mate had indeed sired a son, and Sesshoumaru was curious. In fact, if things continued on as they have been, Sesshoumaru may one day end up entrusting his lands to the whelp. Sesshoumaru still had not sired any airs, and he felt it was very unlikely to ever happen, either he would want Rin, or a full-blooded female Dog Youkai, or no female at all. Sesshoumaru would have to be sure that the child would be strong, as strong as someone like him could become.

How unnatural it was that his halfling brother had managed to find a life mate before Sesshoumaru himself had. It was completely unfitting, for Sesshoumaru should have sired an heir long ago, rather than depending on having a mutt take over for him once he was no longer living.

"How wonderful My Lord, I look forward to seeing the baby, if I too will be permitted to see him." Rin spoke excitedly, yet with such politeness. The young girl had still not lost all of her childish energy, but she had gained such poignant manners that she annoyed not even Jaken.

"I am sure that you will, so long as you wash first. Human infants are highly susceptible to disease, and though this child is not completely human, I know not what to expect when it comes to his health, for I have known of no quarter Youkai to ever exist." It was true, since most Hanyous didn't live to reach adulthood, it was very unlikely for any of them to have ever spawned any children of their own.

Rin smiled. "I do hope we leave soon, I am sure that the babe will be adorable."

Sesshoumaru hesitated, but then looked into his tea, and calmly took a sip before he spoke. "We could leave tomorrow, if you like."

Sesshoumaru detested the way her eyes lit up at his comment. "Yes My Lord, that would be wonderful!"

Keep calm... He needed to stay calm, it was not as though she knew what would happen tomorrow. Not as though the joy in her eyes was due to a thought of never seeing him again. Though he wondered, what reaction would he get when he did tell her?

"You will retire early tonight, I wish to leave early in the day. I want for our journey to take any more than three days." Normally he could travel there and back in less than a days time, but he had not had the pleasure of such a rapid travel since he had decided to bring this girl with him, unless he had had left her in Jaken's care.

Rin nodded. "I've finished my meal, so I will go bathe and retire now." She hurriedly got up, and all but skipped out of the room.

The next three days with her would likely be his last.

For the next three days, he would cherish his time with her, and memorize every smile, every detail of her eyes, and the sound of her voice and of her laugh.

For the next three days, would be his last three days that would be worth living.


	2. Rememberances

"What!"

"You heard me Inuyasha." Kagome said calmly as she bounced her baby in her arms. "Rin, Sesshoumaru's human girl, is going to be staying with us."

"And just why did you agree to this? " Inuyasha huffed.

"A few weeks ago maybe. Sesshoumaru asked very kindly for me to let her stay here, so I agreed."

"Figures, just when he gets tired of her, he decides to go and dump her on us." Inuyasha said grumpily.

"That's not why Inuyasha. Rin is an adult now, he doesn't think he should have her around demons all the time when she's finally ready to find a husband and settle down." She knew Inuyasha wouldn't like this, he hated anything that was even distantly relevant to his brother, but Sesshoumaru had seemed almost desperate. "They'll probably be coming here sometime this week-"

"They? He's coming here too!" Inuyasha was practically fuming, if he didn't calm down, she would end up having to subdue him.

"You think Rin could get all the way over here by herself? Besides, Sesshoumaru said he wanted to see Yoshi-"

"Hell no! He is not coming anywhere near my son!" He was practically snarling... she hadn't thought his reaction would be this violent.

"I'm sure he isn't going to hurt him, Sesshoumaru is all about honor, and there is none in harming a defenseless child. Besides, he would have to know we would never take Rin if he did anything to any of us." Kagome watched him as she spoke, and he hadn't calmed down at all from her rationalizations.

"I never said Sesshoumaru would hurt Yoshi physically, he has other ways of hurting people like us." Inuyasha stood, and walked out of the hut.

This had to go back to before Kagome had known him... his deep hate for his brother was understandable, but even Inuyasha should be able to see how much Sesshoumaru had changed.

Kagome looked about her hut, and found a big red blanket to cover herself. It was Yoshi's feeding time, and some of her friends... mostly meaning Shippo, would sometimes forget to knock before entering, so she always liked to cover up when she fed him.

Two years she'd been with Inuyasha in this house, and she couldn't help but feel blessed. They'd had a scare with Yoshi's early appearance, but everything was fine now. He was a happy and healthy little boy. Everyone in their small group loved him and would end up spoiling him to no end, she could tell. But it would be good to spoil him a little bit, let him knows he's loved.

Unfortunately, two years hadn't been enough time for Miroku to grow a brain and stop flirting with the village girls. Due to his spiritual powers, he ended up living in Kaede's home, and helping her out a lot.

Inuyasha and Miroku had built a home for Sango, just as they had Kagome's home. Only when they did so for Sango, they kept it secret, by building it when she had gone to visit her old village and properly bury her fallen comrades, something she had insisted on doing alone.

Sango would still get jealous whenever Miroku flirted with other women, and she still hit him whenever he groped her. She couldn't bring herself to tell Miroku how she felt, so matter how much Kagome had prompted her to.

Shippo stayed with Kagome and Inuyasha in their home... though Inuyasha rarely let the kit sleep with her anymore... but she understood why. Shippo was still happy though, and he was growing and becoming strong, especially now that Inuyasha was training him.

Inuyasha had changed so much... ever since they had told one another of their feelings, he hadn't been nearly so guarded or cranky. Until now, when his brother had come up...

Kagome was sure Inuyasha would end up likening Rin, she was such a sweet little girl. So energetic and happy... she had been the last Kagome had seen of her anyway... Rin would be staying at their house, and Kagome was somewhat relieved at having the girl here. Taking care of a part demon baby was no easy task, it drained her of most of her energy, and she sometimes didn't even manage to make dinner.

With Rin here, maybe Kagome would have an easier time of things... she always felt so horrible when she would leave the place a mess or not make dinner, especially when Inuyasha was out working.

Yes, working.

They had to earn their keep somehow. Inuyasha would help in the fields, he would help build new homes, and he would help to protect the village from any demons that would show up. Miroku and Sango did much of the same work, but Kaede always had food ready for them when they were done working, and Inuyasha would usually do most of the work.

Besides, Shippo was always following Inuyasha around no,(when he was in a decent mood), and with no one to talk to save little Yoshi, Kagome feared going mad. Having Rin around mean having someone to talk to.

Kagome would often think of how lucky she was that she and Inuyasha had finally managed to be together. It hadn't been easy, that was for sure. She'd been so shy, and he so guarded.

It had happened when she had been sure she was going to lose him, she didn't have a reason to stay once they had found all of the jewel shards, or rather... she no longer had an excuse. She was spending only a few more days in his time, and then she would go home, for good.

Only... one of the last nights she was there, a Youkai attacked, wanting the jewel, which she had handed over to Inuyasha. It was a powerful demon, of who non of them had ever met. It was a Dog Demon, who also had a sword of great power. A battle ensued when he stated what he was there for, everyone was there, and Inuyasha had told her to leave, she hadn't had her bow and arrows with her.

She did leave, but she came back once she was armed, and started to also attack the demon, and she got him too, her arrow had pierced his scrotum, and it made him maaad.

So he attacked her, or he tried anyway. Inuyasha got in the way, and in doing so he got hurt, the demons sword went right through Inuyasha's chest, and while she had screamed, Inuyasha had used the Tetseiga so he could use the Wind Scar.

With the dog demon dead, Inuyasha collapsed, and passed out from lack of air. He'd been rushed to Kaede right away, and she had used her Miko powers to heal his pierced lung, but it still took him a while to recover, his lungs had filled with blood, and it was still hard for him to breath. He spent the rest of the night coughing up blood, while she did everything for him that she could.

She helped him drink some water, she would pat his back as he coughed... and then she would watch him sleep. She wanted to hit him, she wanted to yell and scream at him for doing this to himself just because of her. Why couldn't he just push her out of the way?

And that's when it occurred to her, that this wasn't like any of the other times that he'd done this. Yes, he'd saved her before, and gotten seriously hurt too, but that was because he needed her to find the jewel shards for him. But she'd already given him the jewel, he didn't need her for that anymore, so why had he done that to himself just to save her?

When he finally woke up, she'd asked him about it.

Kagome smiled sadly now as she thought about it. He'd seemed so ashamed, and she'd almost left, since he didn't seem to want to be with her, even if he cared enough to save her. She couldn't help but think of how he probably would have done it for any one of their friends. But when she'd gone to leave, he panicked, and he grabbed her.

He told her how he felt, he told her he loved her, and she told him the same... They'd been so happy after that. For the last two years, they had gotten along better than ever before. Until right now, it looked like they were going to have another one of their spats.

Rin smiled brightly as she followed her Lord. They had been traveling all day, but she had ridden on Ah and Un at least half the time, so she wasn't tired. She had become so accustomed to this way of life a few years ago that now it seemed too easy really.

It was a quiet trip, just like all of the other trips had been, only now she didn't spend her time running circles around Jaken, the just the thought of it was humorous enough to make her snicker.

Ever since Naraku had been defeated, Rin had gone to live with Sesshoumaru in his home, which had been strange at first. For some reason, she assumed that he hadn't had a home... for, why else would he never go home?

She wasn't as naive now though. She had learned much in the last few years, since Sesshoumaru-Sama had decided to hire tutors for her. She could read, write, do some math, learned about the stars and medicines. She even learned all about demons. What each kind to do, and how they lived, what their cultures were like.

Then of course, she had enjoyed learning about dog demons especially. She knew about pack leaders, how pups were raised... and, she couldn't help but blush whenever she though of it, but she had also learned of their mating rituals, how they would bond.

Perhaps the most useful of her information though, was her new and growing vocabulary. She didn't always talk in circles anymore, but was respectful, and poised. She hoped to please Sesshoumaru, by no longer giving him the headaches she was now certain she had caused him as a child.

"Rin, there is a stream nearby. Go catch your dinner, I want to leave in an hours time."

"Yes My Lord." Rin answered obediently, and headed toward the river. She was so glad she was getting to spend so much time with her Lord, he was usually so busy when they were home that she rarely saw him, save for meal time.

She had come to miss times like this, traveling for days at a time. Even when that meant sometimes being left by herself for a time every once and a while. It was worth it, besides, she was only left behind when her Lord was going to do something dangerous, and he didn't want for her to get hurt by going with him, he really just wanted her to be safe...


End file.
